5 Red flags that tell you are in one sided love
Oct 26, 2016
There is never a time or place or a certain occasion for love to happen. It happens in a flash, accidentally, in a heart beat, in a single micro throbbing moment. There are as many love stories as there are hearts. There comes a certain phase in everyone's life where he/she falls in love; which takes off pretty well followed by the experience of initial symptoms like smiling even when no one is around, butterflies in the stomach, goose bumps on the very first touch and a general assumption that our love story will be going to be the greatest of all times which will end with marriage, cute babies and growing old together. And then reality says, "Hello dear I've heard you doing pretty well, so here are some problems, some heartbreaks, the third person, parents refusal, long distance, fading love, some differences etc just for you." I've always wondered why did the responsibility of something as crucial as love given in the hands of cupid who could not even see. He goes around throwing love arrows randomly and in worst cases he misses the arrow of the partner which results in one sided love stories. I'd reframe that as painful one sided love stories. How irresponsible on cupid's part.
The trailers of ‘Ae dil hai mushkil' are also out and it brings into light the same heartbreaking issue, the pain and struggles of one sided love. I've gone through the trailer and it looks like a roller coaster of emotions. All I could garner from the trailer was that towards the end something will be cropping between Ranbir and Anushka (Spoiler alert). It's not as easy as it sounds, there are giant blocks of problems with the name Fawad khan, Shahrukh Khan (in cameo role), Aishwarya Rai Bachhan which will be clear only after watching the movie.
Love is not all roses and boxes of nutella, its hurricanes and tornados that will try to uproot you emotionally. So, here are five red flags that tell you are in one sided love and you need to move on.
- YOU NEED TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL- Love is accepting the next person along with the bag full of flaws that accompany them. If you think thrice before speaking anyone to your love then trust me it is not love. Unless it's fully vulnerable and open, it's not love. If you have to pretend anything you are not, hoping that this is how the next person will accept you then dear it's not love. Love is going in front of him/her in your pyjamas and that extra loose tee, still getting a cuddle. Love is being yourself. The next person should love you and not the idea of who he/she thinks is you. If you love someone be open, speak your heart out, take his advices with open heart and love.
- YOU ARE THE ONE INITIATING- Be it meeting up plans or calling or texting, if it's you who is always the one initiating then that's a danger sign. A relationship is formed on a mutual concord. Just like you need to move the blades from both sides to row the boat forward, similarly relationships require efforts from both the sides. No one is ever to busy in this world. It's all about priorities. If they are never available when you need them, time to rethink.
- YOU HAVE TO APOLOGIZE EVERY TIME- Every person has a low. Life can be cruel sometimes and so small outbursts are genuine. If the person you love is there when everything is hunky dory in your life and not a trace of them is seen when you are in trouble, well, stop. If you are expected to always be in a good mood, to feign happiness even when you are torn from inside, and are expected to apologize for feeling sad and miserable in front of them then that's one sided love. There is nothing wrong with sulking over a bad event, or crying when feeling low or feeling miserable. Love a pet instead. He'll always be ready with a warm cuddle to melt away your problems.
- YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THEIR LIFE- If your partner truly loves you; he will totally involve you with his friends circle or family. If he keeps you away from his personal life, trouble is around. One in love will rejoice your presence with his near and dear ones and will proudly introduce you to his family and friends. If you are kept aloof, not allowed to know what happens in his life, not allowed to enter his personal life , well rethink. It's a red flag.
- LOVE NOT RECIPROCATED AND TAKEN FOR GRANTED- If your small gestures are taken for granted and your efforts to keep the spark alive in your relationship is not considered or appreciated, then welcome to the world of one sided love. If you bring up this issue, then you are tagged as an attention seeker or always nagging personality. So, you end up curled in bed lying to yourself that maybe his day wasn't good, you you end up crying. Just stop and rethink.
Falling in love is easy but staying in love is pretty challenging. Love is a pure emotion and is the best when reciprocated. Love should be followed by respect, care and understanding to make a relationship last. Stop cursing yourself for a failed relationship and in case you are dwindling in one, its time to stop. Make love your biggest strength and take the leap of faith.