Keep cool when your child throws a tantrum
Aug 05, 2016
Parents will agree that when the kid is throwing a tantrum, it becomes very difficult to keep cool and is very likely to have your own meltdown, too. And at times it really becomes very tough for the parents to handle these tantrums and most of the times; they try to suppress this behaviour by anger. But remember that you're trying to teach your kids how to handle anger. If you yell or threaten, you'll model and ingrain the exact kinds of behavior you want to discourage.
Chances are that your patience is continuously tested by angry outbursts, opposition, defiance, arguing, and talking back, but remember that those are the times when you need your patience most. Reacting to kids meltdowns with your screaming, this will only teach them to do the same. Here are some of the tips you can try when your child is throwing a tantrum and helps you to keep your cool too.
1. Ignore the Child: Doctors says that during a tantrum, your child is literally out of his mind. His emotions take over overriding the frontal cortex of the brain, the area that makes decisions and judgments and this is why reasoning doesn't help as the reasoning part of his brain isn't working. So ignore the kid at that time and let things cool off and talk to the child when he is ready to listen and his brain ready to understand.
2. Give Your Child Some Space: All humans including children needs to get their anger out sometime. So let him. Sometimes throwing a tantrum helps children learn how to vent in a nondestructive way. They're able to get their feelings out, pull themselves together, and regain self-control without engaging in a yelling match or battle of wills with you.
3. Be firm: Be empathetic but firm when you talk with your child, and once you've given a calm explanation, don't back down. Your child may or may not calm down right away, but he or she will remember that throwing a tantrum doesn't lead to satisfactory results. Next time your child wants something, he or she will be less likely to throw a tantrum.
4. Give your child affection: Sometimes children throw tantrums because they just feel that they are not loved enough and don't have adequate attention. Don't withhold your love just to discipline your child. No matter what, your child should know that you love him or her no matter what. Avoid berating your child or saying "I'm so disappointed in you". Hug your child and say "I love you," even if you're very frustrated with his or her behavior.
5. Stay calm: It's important to model the behavior you want to see for your child. It's not easy to do, but staying calm and collected is the best thing you can do for yourself and your child. Take a few minutes to cool off by yourself if you need to. Losing control of yourself in this way will only make your child feel confused and scared of you. It won't lead to a healthy and trusting relationship.
6. Never be harsh: Never shout, yell or speak harshly to your child when you want them to stop throwing a tantrum. Explain to them what they are doing, why you do not approve, and suggest another way to express them. Tell them that if you are screaming and hitting, and that's not good. When you scream and hit, it makes other people very upset.
Each child is different and so is each situation and scenario. So next time your child is on the tantrum mode. You as a parent be in control. Keep your cool and keep calm. At some point, a child needs to accept no is no. However, if they are old enough to understand, explain why they shouldn't behave that way and encourage them to do the right thing, and learning to be a socialized little person.